In Bruges

“If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn't, so it doesn't”.

Says charismatic hit man Colin Farrell, the actor in a line from the film, “In Bruges”, a black comedy from 2008, completely set and shot in Bruges, in the Flemish part of Belgium. So Bruges is not his thing but he’s just being difficult because Bruges is “fairytale” as the jovially evil London crime boss played by Ralph Fiennes explains (in cockney):

“It's a fairytale bleeping town, isn't it? How can a fairytale town not be somebody's bleeping thing? How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful bleeping fairytale stuff, how can that not be somebody's bleeping thing, eh?What I think I meant to say was, is the swan still there? How can bleeping swans not bleeping be somebody's bleeping thing, eh? How can that be?”

My blog is for General Exhibition (unlike the film which is MA 15+ Strong violence, coarse language and drug use) so I have bleeped the swearing from the screenplay (which was Academy Award nominated) but I’m with the indignant exasperation. Cobble stoned streets, medieval architecture, swans on the canals; the whole city centre is a renowned UNESCO World Heritage Site. How could it not be somebody’s bleeping thing?

The scene from a shallow Bruges canal boat is picturesque. Elegant patrician white swans serenely glide on the dark canal mirrored surface that reflects the quaint bridges and traditional low country step gabled buildings. Beautiful enough to ignore the monotone commentary of the multilingual and multi-skilled scholar earning his student fees by steering our canal boat and droning. Later he is spied moonlighting, serving beers at one of the Bruges pubs. I forgive the overworked student’s tired dreary commentary.

In the Markt is the most famous Bruges landmark, the 13th century Bellfroi, quite prominent at 83 metres high. From this tower one of the characters in the film leapt to his death (oh sorry, spoiled the whole movie for you). Sean is obsessed with calculating their landing position and I’m surprised he is not chalking it out on the cobblestones. The Markt is edged with cafes and restaurants in step-gabled buildings, some dating back to the 14th century. In the middle of the day the Markt is choking with tourists, many following tour guides holding umbrellas high in the air or lining up for overpriced horse drawn carriage rides through the city. In the morning it is eerily sparse and in the night the Bellfroi is lit up and golden, exquisitely beautiful.

The Burg is a smaller square than the Markt but it has the Stadhuis (Town Hall), with an elaborate gothic facade; the Chancellery with a 16th century Renaissance style facade of golden statues and embellishments; and the Basilica of the Holy Blood. The basilica holds a phial containing the blood of Jesus Christ, brought to the city by Thierry of Alsace, Count of Flanders in the 12th Century. We are there on a Friday when the relic of the Holy Blood is displayed after the mass, to be venerated by the faithful which means walking up to it, touching it and saying a silent prayer. We watched.

Another ‘high point’ is the Church of Our Lady (Onze Lieve Vrouwekerk) with a 122metre steeple, one of the highest brick buildings on the continent. The church dates from the 13th to15th centuries and there is an abundance of art inside but the most important is a marble Madonna and Child Sculpture by Michelangelo. Made in 1504, was the only one of Michelangelo's works to leave Italy in his lifetime.

The 14th Gothic Saint Sauveur church, the main church of the city has some beautiful and enormous hanging tapestries made by Jasper van der Borcht in 1731. We get booted out of this church on Saturday so the clergy can break for lunch and then again on Sunday our visit is restricted due to the mass.

Sint Janshospitaal (the former St John’s Hospital) is one of the oldest hospitals in Europe. From the 12th century nuns and monks received and took care of pilgrim and the sick in St Jans and now it is a museum with a picture gallery. The highlights are the works by Hans Memling (1430-1494), a Flemish Primitive painter. One of which is sometimes called The Spiritual Marriage of Saint Catherine. This large richly coloured altarpiece shows the baby Jesus placing a ring on St Catherine’s finger. There is also the very detailed “Shrine of Saint Ursula”, a wooden box in the shape of a gothic chapel that Memling painted with the story of St Ursula. We also get to see a couple of works by Hieronymus Bosch (1450-1516) here. Bosch’s ”The Last Judgment” tryptych is a detailed and fantastical work with lots of peculiar creatures. Sean likens Bosch’s work to Reg Mombassa’s oeuvre. I’m sure he inspired Salvador Dali too.
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There is an exhibition of some of the works of the mad moustached Salvador Dali (1904-1989) beneath the Beffroi. Just as enjoyable as gawking at the egomanical Spaniard’s paintings, drawings and sculptures are the posters displaying his pompous quotes:

"Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali."

“I don't do drugs - I am drugs”.

“The reason that some portraits don't look true to life is that some people make no effort to resemble their pictures"

We wandered through the Bruges Beguinage, as I have recently read a gothic novel about the beguines. Beguines were groups of unmarried women in the low countries who lived together, were religious but took no vows, cared for the poor and supported themselves by manual labour. The Bruges Beguinage is a cluster of white houses around a garden of large poplar trees all mysteriously on a communal lean. The Bruges beguines used to live in this place from 1244 until the early 1900’s.

From even earlier in the middle ages Belgian monks were brewing beer and haven’t stopped. We go to the Bierbrasserie Cambrinus where they have over 400 types of beer available. Sean tries a variety over the weekend including a ‘Catherine The Great’ stout (10% alcohol) which he describes as “good, strong and forceful”. I try a ‘Pink Killer’ (5%) which I describe as “lolly water”. I also try Kriek which is cherry beer but it goes warm before I get to finish it. Belgian Rabbit Stew with prunes and Flemish Carbonade are cooked in beer and very hearty. Of course we also have Belgian waffle, Frites with mayo and Belgian chocolates. And tomorrow, now the Bruges fairytale is over, maybe just some lettuce while we watch In Bruges again.

Image via Wikipedia