Deciphering Dutch

Yesterday I had a meeting with my Dutch language teacher, Henny. The course starts in a few weeks and i had telephoned her to register. She was completely taken aback that i had never learnt a foreign language before. “Not even a bit of French at school? The course is very intense, very fast, do you understand grammar – subject, predicates, nouns verbs , objects??” What, but I thought this course was for beginners. I met her at her home for the interview upon which she would decide whether I had sufficient aptitude to attempt the course. She invited me into her lovely courtyard where we sat in the sun. She had a little water jug, pot of tea and text books ready to show me. She was warm and hospitable. Then she asked me to read a paragraph of Dutch to her. It looked like a jumble of letters that had no right to be mixed together in that manner. Lots of vowels together in configurations that my tongue and lips couldn’t do. She kept correcting me (like every second word) and I tried to remember to pronounce my g’s as k’s and my ee’s as ay’s. I have no idea what the paragraph was about. She then pointed to a few Dutch sentences and asked me to point to the word that was the verb. It seemed a ridiculous request (did I need to remind her that I don’t speak or read Dutch?) But to my surprise, there was something familiar about these words and I was able to work out the verbs from the nouns. She presumably decided that I had a knack for it and told me to keep working on “Dutch for Dummies” until the course starts.
Coincidentially, Sean had his first French lesson at work yesterday. He said the whole thing was in French from the outset and he was feeling baffled and bewildered.We will be able to empathise with each other.
Meanwhile with no Dutch, I’ve been using google translate to understand Dutch websites for instance the gym website. Sometimes the effect is a bit odd.Here are the House Rules for Qfitness gym as translated by google:




A new Dutch word for Sean is "Oliebollen" which translates to oil ball, basically a deepfried ball of batter dusted with icing sugar, like a Dutch doughnut sans hole. It’s a traditional Dutch snack for new years day but also served at festivals and fairs. It’s more of a winner than raw herring.

Funny Quote: I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it. Carl Sanburg

House Rules
To exercise as enjoyable as possible for everyone to be QFitness uses house rules.
The classroom is not allowed to hats, caps or other headgear to wear.
Mobile phones are not allowed in the classroom. Walkmans and MP3 players are allowed. (Barring of course exceptions)
During training, the use of clean shoes required (no outdoor shoes).
The use and trafficking of narcotic drugs is prohibited.
Smoking and alcohol use are not allowed.
Pets are not allowed in the gym.
For storing your valuables can be a (free) locker use.
In the training group formation is not allowed.
It is not allowed to bother other guests.
You are welcome to one hour before closing time.